Coach Chronicles: Star Date: 11-13-1985
It is on this day that David A Charbonneau is born. The “A” standing for the land that he loves so much, America. It is
important to note here that his parents were not of the human race, but instead were Silverback Gorillas. Scientists, to this day have not been able to solve the mystery of how Gorillas could birth a seemingly fat human baby. It may be a stone that is best unturned.
Throughout his childhood, David did not quite fit in with his human counterparts. It took him a bit longer to adapt to the language, a task he is still trying to master to this day. Also, his odd hair patterns did not go well with the ladies. He was aware he was different, so he needed to adapt. And adapt he did. In social situations, he developed a charm so appealing, that it completely masked his ape-like attributes. He also made the decision to put his inconceivable strength to good use and try his hand in athletics.
David began his athletic career in high school, participating in the sports of Wrestling and Lacrosse. His satisfaction with Wrestling carried over to a stint in Mixed Martial Arts. It was here that he was truly able to capitalize on his natural primal instincts. His fighting style was appropriately deemed animalistic, and even more appropriately was described as “grappling like a gorilla”. It was complete reckless endangerment, he had complete disregard for the life of his opponent or himself. The years of physical abuse took its toll, and it was time for career change.
Throughout his short lived MMA career, David had been using an intense collaboration of functional movements to train for fights. He would later find out that this training methodology was known as CrossFit. He decided to take a shot at competing in this “Sport of Fitness”. The results were satisfactory, 4th place finishes in the 2011 and 2012 Northeast Regionals. Most would be pleased with these results, but to David, 4th place is not good enough. Something had to change. In this Offseason, though sidelined with a knee injury, the focus has been to bring stoutness to another level. With a combination of his Silverback Gorilla DNA, lifting obscenely heavy things, and stacking eggnog infused protein shakes, the cultivation of mass has been out of this world. Epic numbers have been hit, including a 585 Deadlift, and more awesomeness is to come.
Not only are personal achievements important to this mammoth of a man, but so are the achievements of his fellow Greenpointers. He has brought the equation for success and is distributing it amongst the members. A concoction made of Stoutness, Awesomeness, and Mind-Numbing Intensity is the recipe for endless PRs and your wildest dreams coming true. You’re Welcome.